Somehow I lost myself and I’m not sure who I am anymore, or what I’m becoming, seems like everything’s changing and life’s just getting worse as it continues. I’m nothing like I use to be whether that’s a good thing or not. I never thought that getting older would be more stressful. Things don’t feel right and I just don’t feel right, everyday it seems like I’m living a lie and I hate this feeling. When people meet me usually I seem like a happy person but behind this smile and happy personality, there’s just a boy that’s clueless. Sure I could be called fake, because I’m nothing really like I say I am, and that’s a bad thing, but aren’t we all fake in this world? No ones really who they say they are. Everyone’s different, but different things are more expectable then others.


I can say that I don’t care what people think of me, but honestly there’s times where I do care what people think about me, I’m easily hurt and sometimes just don’t feel like facing the world and even though I don’t have the worst life like some people do, I still cant convince myself that there’s people out there that have it far more worse then I have it myself. But honestly, really, can you actually know and feel what someone else is going through even if your situations similar? Not really, everyone feels a different way, no one actually feels similar.


So I guess the whole point about you reading this is to know about me, well why don’t you simply just ask me, either way most people do because they don’t even bother reading everything I write in my about me. There’s actually some important info in here, because there’s actually things in here that I wouldn’t tell you unless u actually asked me, and half this stuff I know no one would. So usual I say I’m not like many guys and yes that’s true to an extent, mostly because I don’t do many things like them. I don’t go out and party, I haven’t slept with umpteen million chicks, I’m not always thinking with my other head (not that I don’t), I’m faithful, I don’t go and chill with guys, I barely have any guy friends, I don’t do drugs, and don’t act like an idiot. I mean I’m not saying all guys are like that, but the majority of them are and sometimes it makes me ashamed to be a guy all because of the things they do and the reputation they give us.


I’m not perfect, I’m not this amazing guy that does no wrong, I fuck up to, I do a lot of things that I shouldn’t, and even though I know I shouldn’t, I cant help but to continue to do them. When it comes to certain things I have no confidence whatsoever, mostly because I’m worried about the outcome. That’s one thing about me, even if I don’t show it, I’m constantly worrying about something or someone, whether it’s my future or someone I care about. As a person I have many beliefs, but I don’t always stand up for them like I should, because like most people, I’m afraid what will happen because of what I believe in. So if that’s fake, then I guess I’m pretty much fake. I can’t really say I like who I’ve become today, and I can only hope to get better in the future, but to be better you have to change, and I’m not really sure if I can change who I am. Although the more I think about it, I have never really been happy with what I’ve have. There’s tons of people out there that would be happy with what I have, but once they’ve got use to what I have they’d want more, that’s how we all our, so it’s just not me. That is something I can say with out thinking twice, and whether you believe it or not that’s your choice.


So if you’ve made it this far, I thank you, because not many people would take the time out of there life to read what I have to say, but I’m probably sure your thinking that I feel way to sorry for myself, and you know your right I do feel way to sorry for myself, but I cant help it, that’s exactly who I am. But I guarantee if I was to talk to you, you wouldn’t think that because I usually don’t try to make it look like I feel way to sorry for myself. I don’t live a very exciting life, it’s more like a boring one and I don’t really have any crazy stories of crazy things I’ve done. Instead I imagine how great it would be to have done crazy things and have a crazy exciting life, because in my dreams it’s much more exciting them my reality actually is.