im Nikki I'd like to be someone's everything-not somebody's something; I'd like to do something that actually doesn't hurt someone else; I'd like to create something new; I'd like to scar my body up with piercings and tattoos and not regret a single one; I'd like to wander through town holding hands, not caring where I'm going; I'd like to give the longest hug in the history of forever; I'd like to kiss until my lips go numb; I'd like to meet somebody, that nobody else knows about; I'd like to have a secret, that you'd kill to find out; I'd like to take pictures until the lens shatter; I'd like to paint the town red;I'd like to see the world; I'd like to leave; I'd like to meet someone and fall in love when we look into each other's eyes; I'd like to speak my thoughts; I'd like to see it for myself; I'd like to see through someone else's eyes; I'd like to live life like i'll die today. I'd like to live life like I'll live forever. I'm a master at destroying myself but now im perfecting the art of building myself back. I am both happy and sad at the same time, and i'm trying to figure out how that could be. watch how good i am at smiling the pain away; you'll never guess i'm screaming on the inside. wanna see the epitamy of an emotional wreck? you're lookin right at her baby........ i am one of the most COMPLICATED human beings alive. im a dork, a nerd, a complete blonde, an over analyst, a believer, a lover and a fighter. im overly sweet, clumsy, and my worst critic out of all people in this world; i have more insecurities than you will ever understand. Do not mold me of perfection;you will be highly dissapointed. I have yet to come to full conciousness of who i am because i am often wide eyed and yet completely oblivious to the world. I'm always changing but my drive and passion will never cease-i am not the same person-i have suffered many trials and errors. I wear my heart on my sleeve and always will. my soul is incapable of tyranny, and my heart often lets me down. I'm me and i'll always be that girl trying to win your heart over every step of the way. I'M NOT HERE TO PLEASE YOU OR YOUR EFFIN DOG! I have a good reason for feeling the way I always have-less like a person and more like an experiment. Like someone up there is watching me, saying: "Let's turn her life to crap, and then see what happens when we put her with a bunch of actual people. Will she be able to coordinate her clothes? Will she be able to stoop to their general intelligence level? Will she be able to go to school? Fall in love? Smile?" You may notice that the answer to almost all of the above is no. And if not no, then at least not very well